How This Mexican Napoleon Dynamite Wannabe Changed Baseball

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Let me kick this off by stating the more I look at this pic, the more I think he’s a combination of that black kid in the wheelchair from Malcolm In the Middle who could never breath, like Stevie or some shit (minus the black part, he mostly looks like he just cant breathe properly), and a Mexican Napoleon Dynamite.

Anyways, so this legend is a man named Mario Mendoza.  If you’re a baseball fan you’ve probably heard the term “Mendoza Line” in context that goes something like this:

John Kruk: “Hey Joe, I’m really fat, by the way Adam Dunn is batting below the Mendoza line!”

Joe Morgan: “You’re right John, you are fat. And Adam Dunn is batting below .215 so you’re correct! His stellar OBP doesn’t matter and his 25 huge fucking bombs don’t matter! Just his BML (below Mendoza Line) batting average!”

Anyways so Mario Mendoza played a career 686 games over parts of 9 seasons with 3 different clubs.  His career slash line looks like this

.215/.245/.262 (for non baseball fans it goes batting average/on base %/ slugging %)

Hence why when a player is batting below the Mendoza Line, he’s probably likely to be replaced soon enough.  And this leads me to the big picture.  Mendoza has helped shape sabermetrics in a plethora of ways.  One of my favorite stats VORP (Value Over Replacement Player) is based off of him.  Mendoza is the replacement player.  So if Matt Kemp has a 21.2 VORP this year (which he does…impressive given he’s been injured a ton) that means thus far, he has been worth 21.2 runs more then a replacement player.  Which we now know is Mendoza.  So Kemp’s .355/.444/.719 (and 12 dingers) is essentially worth roughly 21 runs more then .215/.245/.262 would have been over the same time period.

Now using this (I’ll spare the mathematics) we can standardize batters to see how much they are truly worth over the course of X games.  We can now do it with pitchers too.  All of this because of Mexican Napoleon Dynamite and Black Stevie’s love child!

I would love to go more in depth about this but I’ll keep it short and sweet for you assholes.  But I do want to throw in another picture of this guy because he’s fucking hilarious to point and laugh atImage

I must say, fresh goggles my dude, but maybe you should have gotten the ones with the sports strap on them so you could’ve played better.  Oh and can someone please get this guy those Breath Right strips? He’s on the struggle bus in every picture.

And WAIT. Do I spy a little lip caterpillar there? Oh my I do! A niiice little stache’ for the ladies.  I just hope he gave the people what they wanted and gave out mustache rides daily.

P.S. Less baseball-ish blogs will keep coming, and ones like this (a little more analysis) will keep coming.  So have no fear young ones, I plan on appealing to all tastes that my supple readers may posses.

Shit just got weird,

Bobcat

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