Does This Look Like The Slider of Baseball’s First $200 Million Pitcher?

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Saucy

After reading a majestic article in which Magic Johnson albeit guaranteed Kershaw a contract of at least $200 million, I heard today that because of those comments negotiations have been heating up and some executives are thinking more in the $220 million + range.  Is this smart?

Recent extensions of Verlander (5 years $180 mil) and Felix Hernandez (7, $175) have set the standard for the market as they are obviously two legitimate aces.  How does Kershaw differ? Easy, he’s just 25.  By locking him up now, the Dodgers are paying for his prime years, and a few years of decline.  The Tigers locked up Verlander through the end of his prime, and well into decline, and the Mariners will also see much of Felix’s decline stage.  For once, I think The Dodgers actually aren’t recklessly spending.

Stats show that these guys are pretty equally as dominant.  All three have Cy Young awards, all three are historically durable, and all three have great stuff.  Kershaw has young age, and being a lefty on his side here and I think the risk is completely worth the return in signing him to a big deal.  Plus I just read that he is a relative of the dude who discovered the planet Pluto (RIP).  That to me is almost worth $100 million right there so this deal is seriously looking like a bargain.

oh and here’s one more little breaking ball gif to keep you happy.

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Got Heem

 

 

EDIT: My Cousin Lazy Cat just brought this to my attention…Who’s curve buckled the batter worse? Either way, Got Heeeeeem.

 

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Tom Wilhelmsen


Does Getting a $100+ Million Contract Entitle Someone

to rock the greatest mustache we’ll see this season?

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Daddy’s Feelin Delicios

I know I know…it’s a week in, calm down Bobcat.  No way, this shit is unreal.   Cole woke up that morning and said “Fuck the world, I just got filthy rich.  Daddy’s feelin pretty delicious, probably gonna pipe a few heaters down the middle today and still strike everyone out.  I’m a dirty dog, and I’m gonna rock a Dirty Stache”.

Goose Gossage his shitting his pants right now, wondering if the crown of Greatest Stache’ may be threatened.  If Cole keeps this up, Goose should be shaking in his boots.

And one more (in no way suggestive) picture just for funsies.  I’m pretty sure that’s a hot dog cannon. No words.

 

Safe to say mustache of the week is in the bag.

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A cannon like this can only to be used by dirty dogs

 


Brian Harper Taking Us Into The New Season

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Brian Harper was ahead of his time

 

Just wanted to get the blog started off with a bang.  Is this the mustache of the week you ask? Frankly, no.  I’m cooking up something a little better for you guys.

Now really quickly I want to address a few things about this most legendary photo.  Who is Brian Harper (No relation to Bryce) talking to on the phone?  My guess is his agent.  What are they discussing? Any number of things, but my bet is on his career .329 OBP including his stellar .200 mark he reached in 1986.

 

Bravo Brian, the best thing you accomplished during your storied career was owning that legendary Cell Phone.  All jokes aside, I would totally use this.


Just Like Arnold In The Terminator….

 

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I’m baaaaaaaack.

 

I know, I know…Everyone is wondering where I’ve been.  The rumors have been swirling.  Am I dead? Did I get knocked up?  Did I take the millions I’ve made from blogging and retreat to a beautiful tropical land with a bombshell on my side.  The answer to all of the above is of course, no.  I simply took a small hiatus from baseball after I nearly fell into a deep depression brought on by a combination of Bobby Valentine, AAAA players in the bigs, and school work.

 

Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s move on.  It’s a new season and oh my we are off to a great start.  Expect new updates on the regular, and maybe a few guest posts from a good friend of mine, Lil Cat.

 

I know you all missed me so much, so let the games begin.

 

Bobcat Jeffries


Bro-Stache’ Of The Week Is In!

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Best Career Move of Pavano hands down.  Literally just a game changer.  I know Kawasaki had the whole Dojo Sensai thing going on with his pencil stache’ but this….. This is an homage’ to the men who paved the way in 1980’s Porn so Pavano could rock the shit out of this little puppy today.  Well played sir, and touche’.

EDIT: I don’t think we’ve ever seen focus like this before from Hot Carl.  Literally ever.  That’s the look of a man who’s thinkin bout doin somethin bad.  Is it the Stache’? That’s a clown question bro.


Jim Joyce, Wally Bell: Respective Living Legends

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I’ve been doing this thing lately where every time I go to the sox game, I lookup the umpiring crew and pick out one who seems most legendary, and proceed to chat them up the whole game.  You see, my best friend and dear cousin, Buster Pujols, has season tickets to the Sox right on the third base line, so this is quite the common occurrence.

The two most memorable had to be Jim “Big Daddy Smooth” Joyce, and Wally “RedWood” Bell.  Yes, I completely fabricated those nicknames.

Long Story short, I was reminiscing about my short, but beautiful, interactions with my two umpire homies, and I got to thinking.  If I troll the inter-web long enough, I’m sure I can find some albeit amazing vids of ridiculous umpire calls.  Then I stumbled on this gold mine.

At first I thought this dude was semi-annoying. And then BOOM. Big Papa busts out moves I haven’t seen since the Thriller music video.

 

There’s a ton of these on youtube. They’re so entertaining I don’t even know how I’m going to bed tonight.  Check this dude out.

 

 

I’m sorry…was that the Macarena? Takes pure guts to flaunt this much as an ump.  Real grit just to take all the attention off the kids and place it upon yourself.  Power move, Ump.  That’s how you command respect.

Slow day for analysis and such in case you couldn’t tell, keep checking back for posts on the daily though kids.

As always,

Bobcat

Oh and here’s one more that I really shouldn’t include considering it is softball, but whatever. It’s not everyday Bruce Lee comes back from the nether regions to call a game.  In Hawaii no less.

 


Kawasaki Is Officially A Legend

So our last week’s bro-stache’ award recipient just continues to prove to all of us his unbelievable boss status.  I mean if anyone has life  figured out it’s this guy. Just week in, week out, showing us how it’s done. (click for the GIFS in action, I promise, it’s worth it)

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and yes, he dances too

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Salt in the wound Sensai, salt in the wound.

Anyways, sorry for the lack of posting guys, I’m staying busy these days but lots of goodies to come soon

Let’s get peculiar,

GrasshoppaCat Jeffries